then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
there is glitter all over my balls
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
