I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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