The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
