Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize