i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
