It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
