yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
