kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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