At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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