"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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