All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Your cock deserves a montage
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
