we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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