so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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