he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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