Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
