It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize