i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
