if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
