I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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