I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
