I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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