you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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