my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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