He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
