Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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