i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Randomize
