I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
