Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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