And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
