Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize