Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize