it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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