hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
