Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
