There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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