Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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