coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
