i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize