Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
