so that wasnt chicken after all
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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