i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
