Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No I am not eating basil off your cock
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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