My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
the raccoons are back...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize