I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
