We're facebook friends in real life
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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