I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
