Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
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Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
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You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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