brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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