Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
