I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
