Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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