He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
