Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
