Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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