We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So squirting runs in the family.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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