I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
