Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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