If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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