Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize