What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
