Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
