So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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