dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
