I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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