I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
