im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
