Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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