I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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