i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
