she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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