So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
