Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
