Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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