First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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