Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
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So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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